Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
I spent the last week completely and utterly myself.
"Things Happen in life, and I understand you."
Friday, July 24, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
I'm spending some quality time visiting Bleighton for a night or so, and of course, on her turf- that means spending time with her on-again off-again boyfriend. Now, this is not a bad thing. He's actually another of my close friends, so it's nice to be able to spend time with them. It's just their relationship in general that confuses me. I'm not even sure why- maybe it's because they have something that I don't (and maybe will never) understand.
They are in Love. That's why they are together again after the last time that he broke up with her. No, I don't understand the concept of 'getting back together' but then again, I've never been in Love. This isn't necessarily the part that I don't get. They are just so different- He is almost her polar opposite. They have different opinions on almost all of the subjects they talk about, they care about completely different things- he's into politics, opinions, drinking, and world views-- she's into working out, the earth, friends, cooking, and mochas. He's a momma's boy, and she's not. He's conservative, she's liberal. He wants to talk about it, she'd rather just get over it. There are things about this that work out perfectly: she loves to cook, he'll do the dishes after. She does all of her work, he makes her take a time out and have fun (and in turn, she inspires him to do his work). They do have a couple things in common- I'll give you that; they want to stay in the area and grow a family here, they're small-town, they love food, music, and movies. Most of all, they actually love each other.
I know that opposites attract, but when is when? what is just enough to work out and what isn't?
Using them as my only example may not be fair- putting anyone's relationship (or lack thereof) under a microscope is going to turn up problems and anomalies. But theirs' is a relationship that I've gotten to know from both perspectives. Of course, I am a little biased, mostly because she's my best friend and I'm bound to take up her banner.
I think that it boils down to understanding and what you do with it. You've really got to understand the person you are in a relationship with (or try to understand them). I think that if people (myself included) understand one another and accept any flaws or shortcomings they may have, they will be fine. The accepting part is the hardest. You can say to someone a million times "I don't want to change you. I accept you as you are." but then you turn around and try to push them towards something against their nature.
Again, I'm going to use B and her boyfriend as an example (sorry guys!).
Bleighton will never, ever be one of those people who wants to confront you about something. It's a part of her personality and won't change. Jon constantly want her to confront him- to tell him what she's thinking, when she knows it will make him upset. She loves him so much that she never wants to hurt him, she would do anything to protect him form being hurt. At the same time, he wants to know what bothers her, he always wants to know what she doesn't like. That if they force little confrontations, it will essentially avoid any huge ones. Maybe this works. But I think that he's pushing her to change who she is (unintentionally). He's not doing it to hurt her, or because he's a bad boyfriend. Just the opposite, he's doing it because he thinks it's the only way to keep their relationship healthy. Is it?
I don't know how to fix this. I am by no means an expert-- clearly my lack of successful relationships show this the best. But they understand one another. They know where their flaws lie and they recognize them. I just think that if they can move on to accepting them completely, and finding a way to work with both of their personalities. Then it will work.
I think they'll find a way. I hope so. In the mean time, I'm going to go break some more hearts or something. Fuck relationships.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
This lamp was designed through a 3-day design/build challenge for my Environmental Building studies class. Further iterations will be developed, including different materials, etc. Though the same central idea will most likely remain.
The shade/lamp covering is constructed from bond-type paper. It's mounted onto a 2x4 with a channel cut through the back for wiring (I used a dado blade)
*NB: any phallical resemblance is purely coincidental. As are any fecal references. (oh, art.
These pictures were taken in one of the design lab's meeting rooms- the drawings, plans, sketches, etc. are not mine. The room that I used is generally an ID room (Industrial Design). Just throwing that out there for you.
Though the design was originally for a wall-hung lamp, I chose not to mount it for the judging, and it ended up this way:
I'm not exactly sure which way I like better, but because of the channel design, it lays flat either way. After the final round of judging, I'm taking it home to hang up- so I'm not sure that it matters except for future iterations.
Alright, I hope my design talk didn't bore you out of your mind. There's not much room for witty commentary when you're describing the channel for wiring design. (I'll wire your design) <----one possible example... So this weekend I will be MIA from the whole entire internet, as I head to fitness Expo!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Or maybe just famous?
Ok. Local Celebrity.
...Right. I sometimes get recognized.
Mostly via drunk girls at parties ("Oh. My. God. You teach Zumba at the gym! This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo weird that you're here." ...yea, it's not that weird.)
You're looking at (or reading...at?) your friendly neighborhood Zumba instructor. I love my job. Even if it's my second job. What? Teaching Latin cardio fitness classes doesn't exactly pay the rent. Hence, another job that actually pays for my tuition.
So clearly that's not why I do it. Why do I do it exactly (besides essentially mandatory workouts twice a week)? Because of classes like the one I had Wednesday.
Wednesday I subbed a class for the only other instructor in Blacksburg. It was a class at the local Y, not my usual stomping grounds. I teach on Campus as a VT fitness instructor. So just because it's a different (much more age diverse) crowd, I was a little nervous. Would my playlist be appropriate? Would they get my (admissibly lame) jokes?
I was so hyped up that I got there 30 minutes early and sat in the dance room listening to the music. That was when I remembered why I love Zumba so much. It's not about looking hot, it's about feeling that way. And it's my job to make everyone comfortable and loose enough to do that. Every single person has the right to feel awesome about themselves, every woman has the right to feel hot- no matter their size or age. I'm so used to teaching beautiful, vibrant 20-somethings, that I forgot how much fun it is to get down with a group of completely different people.
I love my job.
I had planned on posting pictures of my finished (and architecturally striking, of course) lamp tonight. But the camera was MIA in the wee hours of the morning when I had to go set it up. AKA, I woke up at 8:30 and had to pin-up at 9, which means the camera was sitting on the entertainment center and I just forgot it.
So pictures of my (completed. Yes, completed. Let it be known that I am not useless and completely unmotivated) architectural masterpiece of a lamp will be up tomorrow sometime.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
I'm guessing that this was added in some sort of attempt to get the bill stonewalled in the senate.
Some republicans were like, "Let's add a fucking water park, who'd pass that shit?"
What they didn't think of, was how much Democrats love water parks. Yea, sucka.
I have a couple questions though... Where will this water park be? who will be able to enjoy said water park? Will it have a politically-oriented theme? When will the water park open? Construction costs?
Basically: I want to go to a politically themed water park. How boss would that be? (does anyone even say 'boss' anymore...I am a true child of the 90s)
So besides water parks and crusty old republicans who, I'm sure, look horrible in swimsuits (as opposed to their svelte Democratic counterparts) I've other news.
Clearly, I'm still alive.
This girl knows how to spin shit like no other.
After spending large amounts of time walking across campus in the perfect weather we had here yesterday (Mid-sixties, sunny, and un-windy, magically) I was able to gather my thoughts, some perspective, and finally talk to B-baby.
And I decided that it really didn't matter that I didn't finish my project perfectly. My professor knows what's been going on in my life yesterday. I've been missing whole weekends (when we arch students really get our work on) to be home with my family, and he knows that. So when I confidently spoke about my piece of crap that was sitting beside me in Pin-up (aka presentation, or design charrette to those not in the biz) I was able to wow him into realizing all of the time and thought I'd put into my crap-ass project.
It was impressive.
Because although my project did suck a little, I knew everything about it. Plus, my initial design was well-thought-out, carefully executed, and well-drawn. It was only the model that sucked.
Moral of the story? I'm allowed to freak out online, publicly... it makes me feel better. That and the fact that one girl didn't have hers done, but she had way less than I did and didn't even try to present. (Yaaaaaaay I wasn't the worst.)
p.s. I still have my pride, etc.
I'm off to my Building Structures: Steel class in a bit. (I love shear and moments!) Then I'm off to the woodshop... that project due thursday? it's a lamp I'm designing. It's gonna be totally boss. Yea, that's right. Boss.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Today at exactly 1 O'clock, I will be turning in possibly the worst model/project ever made by a 3rd Year Architecture student.
For some reason I just had a complete breakdown during this project, which is actually an extension of a project we did last semester. A complete mind collapse.
I say resignation, because this morning, when I tried to salvage my pride and turn a conglomeration of hot glue, Soldering metal, and zap it into a functioning and presentable model, I had to stop. I couldn't do it.
Now, I am not someone who has ever failed anything (except for a maybe a math test-but not from lack of trying or effort.) This project today will be my first real, actual failure. It's going to be interesting. I'll probably cry...just so there can be no confusion over the total loss of pride, work ethic, and reputation.
Sure, there have been a lot of variables- My mother's return to Chemo, my lack of motivation to become an architect when it's one of the 5 careers NOT to go into right now, and the bachelor (which I watch obsessively). O.K. so that last one: not so much a variable.
The only thing that I can possibly hope, is that my professor takes into account how hard this has been for me, and that I can bring my grade up to passing in the coming semester. I'm banking on option #1.
What I really need to do, is stop feeling miserable, and look at my options. This is not the end of the world. One project won't end my career in architecture.
And if it does...there's always prostitution. I mean, this girl is selling her virginity for 3.5 million dollars. Back-up plan #1. Well, maybe that can be back-up plan number 5 or 6 or something...
In reality, if this semester really goes that poorly, and they don't allow me to stay in the program, I'll just switch my major. All of my plans, etc. will be gonzo, but I won't die. I will live. Even if I end up working at Sam's club for the rest of my life, I will live.
Good god, can one project really ruin your life that much? No. If there's one thing I won't do, it's let that happen. I'm over this. A release of feelings, a quick loss of pride, and I'm on to the next project (which is due Thursday.) Good Lord, I'ma die.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Change is definitely good, especially if it's for the better. I was able to exercises some of my design muscles in a new way last night. You might notice the result in the overhaul of the blog appearance.
It's fun. I might have to restrain myself from changing it every month. Mostly due to the fact that I just found a site with the best free fonts in the WORLD. For some reason, fonts just speak to me. Maybe because they make words, which I'm already infatuated with, into something...more. They also have the best names: the one on my header- which I have now adopted as Carpet Bodies' official font (This of course, is subject to change) is called "brown bear funk".
I also feel sort-of like I'm coming out of the closet, and into the large and eclectically decorated living room of the blogging world. I've been exploring and reading, discovering and laughing. We really do put our lives out and onto the internet- our very personalities. It's crazy (In a good way, of course.)
I say coming out of the closet, because I've been blogging for almost a year now- but I've never really been blogging. You know? It's more than just posting and releasing your thoughts out there. That's fine too, but there's also this whole subculture- groups of different people writing about their lives. I've come across people who are like me, people who are not, people in different walks of life, people that I don't really understand. But they're all still out there, sharing their thoughts and opinions all the same.
My favorite blogs are the ones that are so clearly a creative release. They're not seriously writing, they're writing just because. Just for the hell of it.
That reminds me, I was watching E! last night (well half-watching, the other half of me was assembling my new header, etc.) and Mario Lopez was talking about some man group or something, and they were discussing women, and what they found attractive and unattractive based on viewers questions. One of the questions (Aha! there is a point to this story!) was from a girl who asked if her cursing was unattractive. All of the men on this panel-of-sorts unanimously agreed that cursing was a major turnoff. Is it really?
I mean, sure if she has a mouth like a sailor... but really? so guys can spew profanities like a drunk sorority girl spews...(discontinuing simile here), but we, as women, must not say such things.
Now, I do actually agree that cursing a LOT makes you look trashy- when you think about it- it's rude. But I also have to admit that I love throwing a good one in every now and then. It's for emphasis... That brings me to the real question- does that apply to writing? Is it unattractive for women to include curse words in their writing? And wait--can writing be attractive?
In other updates, my quest to meet someone which is more or less, a half-hearted endeavor due to my self imposed regulations (I won't be stationary for another year--therefore no dog, and no man) has been absolutely boring and fruitless.
By some twist of fate (but mainly structured program components) there is no one new in any of my classes. Since the Architecture program is relatively small, you know everyone after a while. And the ones that are attractive options, well they are taken or gay. Damn.
Everyone says to "join a club"! Go somewhere new! Unfortunately, I really don't have time to join a club (please refrain from any comments having to do with blogging taking up a significant amount of free time...I'm at work right now a.k.a. getting paid for this sucka!)
Going somewhere new is hard when you live in Blacksburg, VA.
OK, so I honestly have no right to complain- I go to school at a male-dominated campus, and have a neighbor who brings me brownies (though My roommate swears his mom was there that weekend and that, consequently, it was she who made the brownies and sent him over with them) This should still make me feel better.
Someone told me once that I'm intimidating. I'd like to think it's just an overwhelming amount of beauty and intelligence that makes me unapproachable. Though, in all reality, it's probably the fact that whenever I'm on campus, I'm either with my roommate, or I'm reading the book that I keep stowed in my purse. (That's right- I keep books in my purse. Always.)
I just remind myself that I'll meet all kinds of people in about two months time, when I finally (finally) turn 21. I will go out, be fabulous, and have many guys buy me drinks because I'm so outgoing and flirty (this will, of course, be after I've already bought myself a few drinks). Though the caliber of such men that would be met in those situations? Well...this is College.
I know, I know, and I know a million times- that you will find someone just when you least expect it. And maybe that's true, but, uh? could he hurry up a little bit... I mean , damn. At this rate I'm on the fast track to being that teacher you always felt bad for in high school because she so clearly didn't have anyone in her life- and never would.
Maybe if I stopped cursing?
Saturday, February 7, 2009
So, after surfing the blogging world for a good deal of this afternoon, I came upon this blogging game. I'm not exactly sure what my shuffle will turn up, but it will no doubt be embarrassing.
1. Put Your iTunes or Ipod on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the ‘next’ button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
What do your friends think of you?
When you're Around - Motion City SoundTrack [God I hope not--for those who don't know the chorus of this song is "I can't fuckin stand it, when you're around"]
If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say?
Drive Away - All American Rejects [I cross my t's and dot my i-i-i's... probably, I'm always running away]
How would you describe yourself?
Hips Don't Lie - Shakira ft. Wyclef [Right. Well, if by this I'm hot, sexy, and otherwise irresistible? Then yes, this describes me completely]
What do you like in a girl?
New Soul - Yael Naïm [I guess this would be what I liked in a guy- something new, hey, sounds good.]
How do you feel today?
Open Book - Cake [I actually feel exactly like this. I'm writing my life, and who knows what page to turn?]
What is your life’s purpose?
She has no Time - Keane [maybe this is a theme of my life right now, and not so much my purpose]
What is your motto?
Llame Pa' Verte - Wisin y Yandel [Well, this song is about being overall badass and having big cajones... At least I got the badass part, sort-of.]
What do you think about very often?
Saint and Sailors -Dashboard Confessional [well, not really. But I do think about relationships I guess...]
What is 2 + 2?
One (Blake's Got a New Face) - Vampire Weekend [now, 2 + 2 is not 1, but the fact that I even got a number is just fucking amazing. Providence?]
What do you think of your best friend?
Hey Jealousy (Gin Blossoms) - Hit the Lights. [Great song. I'm not so sure B would agree that that's what I think of her though...]
What do you think of the person you like?
Breakdown -Forever The Sickest Kids [That sounds about right]
What is your life story?
Hey...You Guys Want To See A Dead Body? - The Fully Down [haha- maybe]
What do you want to be when you grow up?
You Belong with Me - Taylor Swift [happy? I want to be the girl that you want? it's possible I guess- though I'm much more into the whole career thing]
What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Hum Along - Ludo [This is Ironic. Really- this song is the one I associate with the guy I last liked... lyrics: But maybe (as I walk and sing), somehow, you'll hear me (you'll hear a song) And hum along A.K.A. this song is about being a creepy stalker and being in love with someone who doesn't know that you exist... I couldn't have hand-picked a more fitting song. Oh the twisted fingers of fate. That and iTunes shuffle]
What will you dance to at your wedding?
Poker Face - Lady Gaga [why not? By the time I get married that song will be just like 'YMCA']
What will they play at your funeral?
Temper Temper - Envy On The Coast [Well that might be what led to my death, does that make it strangely fitting?]
What is your hobby/interest?
Bshorty Grabs Mic! - Blake Lewis [Beat-boxing is my number one interest/hobby. Really folks. Number One.]
What is your biggest fear?
Still In Love With You - Jonas Brothers [This probably is a big fear; other than the fear of showing the whole world that I have Jonas Brothers on my iTunes--busted that one wide open--being left without anything, even a goodbye, that's a pretty big fear. God that was way too deep for a Jonas Brothers' song]
So Young, So Sick - The Mile After [I'm not so sure this is a secret]
Bella (She's All I Ever Had) - Ricky Martin [Aw. Other than the fact that iTunes happened to spew out some really embarrassing stuff, this is cute.]
If You Seek Amy -Britney Spears [damn.]
I almost feel like I'm made of glass, I've been tiptoeing around myself because I feel like I might break at any moment. It's a weird feeling. I'm not sure what it's all about, but hopefully I can go back to being steel or iron in a couple weeks.
Morgan and I had a total girl's night last night. It was studded with movies, pjs, cookies, gabbing and more movies. We went to see He's Just Not That Into You last night. And I am EXTREMELY happy to announce that it was SO good!
That's a movie I will probably end up buying and watching 12,984,713,457,394,579,548 times. I should never have doubted the ability of Hollywood to make a sucky/repetitive non-fiction book into an extremely cute Love Actually-esque story. The whole movie is so... well, cute. Of course, every storyline ends exactly the way I want it to, but that's what I went there to see. I did not go to see reality. Although, for most of the movie, it was really realistic. The girls acted like embarrassing, dimwitted, denial-obsessed morons, and the guys completely represented every facet of the word 'deuchebag'. It was easy to think "oh, well that was overdone." but honestly? That. Is. What. We. Do.
I'm glad the ending was able to stick the band-aid over my now slashed hopes and dreams.
I walked out loving the movie. Only this morning did I realize it did still have the same message overall as the book: An annoyingly straight forward "No, Girls. Just, no."
My favorite/most loathed Realisms from the movie:
1. You are the Rule, Not the exception. [Read: almost every time, he doesn't like you. Guys won't change for you. Ever. You live in Southwest Virginia not Hollywood. Check the area code one more time, then forget about him]
2. Stop Looking at your Phone. If he didn't call, he's never going to. There isn't a problem, as much as I really, really want to call him- it's not worth it. We dissect our every action and what it means, they don't. If he likes you, he'll call.
3. Random Guys you Meet are NOT going to Fall in Love With you Immediately. This doesn't actually happen. In fact, a lot of time- they don't remember your name. They probably aren't going to be intrigued in one look.
4. Apparently, Everything your Friends Tell you Is A Lie to Make you Feel Better. unfortunately, I think this might be true. We all do it. I do it, I know other people do. We are incapable of telling our friends the truth if it hurts. Often the truth is along the lines of: He just got tired of you. He met someone prettier. You were a bitch. Of course, there are other parts to this, but really?
5. Guys Are Assholes. This is Not OK. Don't give it up anyway. He won't change. If guys keep getting girls by acting like assholes, why would they possibly act any other way? Why are the majority of them like this? Because we will still date them even when they are pieces of crap.
Alright, so basically this is exactly what the book says. It says, "Wait until someone loves you for you! You're worth it!" Right. Even though these are all valid points. I'll still be Gigi from the movie. I know that this all makes sense, and logically I can't even argue with it. But I want to be the exception.I know that my life isn't going to go movie-script on me, but holding on to a dream that you will fall in love with someone who loves you... is that such a bad thing? I realize that you have to work through relationships but you have to want to work through them right? There has to be a reason that you want to be with someone.
I will be alone forever.
This is completely possible. But I won't be alone, not really. I won't have an amazing guy in my life maybe, but I'll always have my friends and family who love me more than life. I'll have a puppy/dog. I'll will live my life.
I still hate that damn book.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
So instead of making excuses and having you laugh at the fact that I love old men, I've decided to leave you with an undoubted beacon of truth in the Hot Guys With Facial Hair catagory. Ladies, I give you: Jonas Armstrong, hottest man alive.
Here's a couple of my favorite Robin Hood of All Time.Hot.Extra Hot.Exponentially Hot. Enough Said.
If you didn't know already (but I'm assuming if you are reading this-that you do know already) I'm a complete Mac girl. No PC love here... in fact- Zunes are stupid too, just because they are the PC version of iPods.
I'm really excited about this upgrade, however-Our software department "doesn't carry Mac operating systems" so I had to buy it through the bookstore. I really need to upgrade, even though I'm a little bit nervous about it now. I have a ton of re-downloading to do tonight. ArchiCad, Google Earth, I have to reload Adobe Creative Suites, and I might not even have it! CRAP, I have to find out who has my CDs! I hope I don't have to set up my Mail again either. This had better be worth it... The worst is going to be ArchiCad, because not only do I have to download it from online, but it takes a really long time to download, and then I might have to re-register it (pain in the Arse) and because it's the EDU version. This will take approximately a week.
The worst part about this: I don't have iLife :( I would have bought it online, but it costs just as much as Leopard, and right now I can't even really afford that. So I had to restrain myself, and not buy iLife. I seriously don't know what I'll do without ichat, and iphoto.
Nonetheless, I am pumped for this. =I'm going to be running the best operating system in the world now. Not the outdated Tiger one (Though I have much love for you, my friend).
It's kind of weird saying goodbye to it, maybe because I don't know what to expect- sure I've taken the online tutorials, gazed at the new Macs in the windows of stores, coveted Leopard on my sister's new mac. I'm ready. But it's a bit like getting out of that relationship with the clingy, immature-but-still-a-little-cute-in-a-nostalgic-way, boyfriend that you dated in highschool. You think fondly of it, but you are so completely ready for that gorgeous senior guy-who-can-actually-grow-facial-hair. That's Leopard.
So tonight, possibly after I teach zumba, and after I have Demo practice, when I finally get home and (maybe) take a shower... then I will upgrade. First though, I have to back up my music, back up my pictures, decide what files to save, and what files I already have, curse myself for not investing in an external hard drive, and then just wipe it all. I need to also learn how to do some of this. How, exactly, do you wipe a computer. After consideration, I see quite possibly in my future, a call to Daddy as well.
Ah, well...such is life.
So, my dear Tiger... it's not you, it's me. Actually- it's Leopard, he has the most amazing facial hair I've ever seen. So I'ma hafta UPGRADEJYA!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Ever have one of those weeks when you are too all over the place to get anything done, but at the same time- you couldn't care less if you actually get it done, no matter the consequences.
Well, that was me this week. I was in poor form, I barely went to class, I ate a whole package of mint grasshopper cookies in basically one day- I drank a gallon of milk in two days. I was exhausted from studio (which I barely went to), fitness classes, demo team practice, and just overall feeling like shit.
I guess this is just one of those down times- like literally...mood is down. It's not like things are going wrong, and the funny part is I can pinpoint it to two things:
1. I hated my studio project with the burning fire of a thousand suns (that's a lot.)
2. My mom's cancer count is back up, and the Chemo is making a poor showing.
It's probably mostly option number two, seeing as I've hated a couple of my studio projects in the past, but I still actually did them.
Yes, that's right. I, Steph- former goody-two-shoes and excellent student, didn't finish my project. I stopped and couldn't do anymore. I procrastinated to a degree I never have before, thinking about tons and kilotons of other things and never did it. It's O.K. because I explained to my professor what's going on right now with the family and everything, and he gave me as much time as I need. It was really awesome- no grade penalties. That should make me feel fabulous.
The sign that I'm really in a hole here, is that I still don't feel fabulous, in fact- I feel like crying every 20 minutes. I'm not PMS-ing, I'm just emotional.
I think I just had a feeling that this treatment wouldn't go well- I even had my bfitu go do reconnaissance for me to see how the Momz was feeling. The biggest blow was that Yesterday I got an email, from my mom going out to our family mailing list (very personal- me and the other 35 some people on it) saying that the first round of Chemo is going badly. Thanks guys...I love hearing it in an email to our 5,485,634,875,749,587 other relatives. Maybe being pissed off is easier than being hurt and scared.
So that's my quick update: week sucked, life hurts.
On the flip side: I saw a really cute guy whilst driving today...