Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Confession

I'm admitting my guilt publicly.
I have not been online/attached to the real world/
doing anything constructive at all with my life because I have been addicted to...

Go ahead, mock me mercilessly-- God knows I deserve it. But every time I get online, the only thing I feel like talking about, the only thing I think about, is who Jillian will pick? What story lines will they come up with? Is it real? Why, again, am I wasting my life on reality TV?

I've never really watched reality TV, or been attached to any particular show. (I can't even commit to a GUY, you think I could commit to a SHOW?) I have a fairly short attention span, don't like surprises, and find the pre-conceived drama overrated. Why then, would I actually watch a show that would contend with all of those parts of my personality? A show that uses all of those things as the very basis of its appeal?

I honestly don't know. I just sat here for 20 minutes trying to think of a good answer. Even a simple one.

Sometimes I can't help but think I'm a little too sappy for my own good. And while my logical side wars constantly with that aspect of my personality that drips gooey piles of "aww" on everything, I find that if I let myself get too logical, I border on cynical.
To live your life through rose-colored glasses has got to be better than being constantly unhappy with yourself and your world.

How can we find a balance?

Sure, you can photoshop the shit out of the color levels, but living in high contrast can't be comfortable.
I think balance must come from some sort of superhuman ability to be well adjusted. Though maybe the very thought of being "well adjusted" comes from a more Leave it to Beaver, 50's era idea of the well rounded person.
What does "well adjusted" mean other than truly being happy?
If you live a quirky, offbeat existence defined by online message boards, lots of animals, and little-to-no human contact, who's to say you aren't "well adjusted"? I'd like to contend that no matter how you define yourself, as long as you are happy-- then you are adjusted enough.
I'm sure modern psychology would completely disagree with me by suggesting that such a person is attempting to replace what they don't get in life with online contact and a pet's affection. This may be true, it may be that in every stage of their adolescence to adulthood, they have been dogged by comments and insinuations that they are "weird" "awkward", and "don't fit in". So what that they no longer seek the arms of those who may have publicly shunned them in the mortifying halls of high school?
Maybe they've found a way to be happy. They've found acceptance and love in a completely different way.
And that is completely OK with me. Who am I to point fingers at another's life style when I watch The Bachelor or the The Bachelorette obsessively?

I can finally say now, at the end of this post, that I am no longer ashamed of loving a franchise of TV shows that promotes the idea of reality show love.
I can proudly say "I'm Team Reid" even though he totally got kicked off last episode... He should absolutely be the next Bachelor.
I can honestly say that I accept this cheesy addiction of mine, that in the end, it does not change who I am as a person.

While I may never find love on reality TV, in fact, I may never find that kind of "love" at all, I'm OK with that. Hopefully, when I decide to venture out into the real world (the one that does not include "final rose ceremonies" and "episode spoilers") there will be someone there who will accept my love of Chris Harrison and the phrase, "I'm sorry, you must now say your final goodbyes".

All that said, I finally thought of a reason to watch the Bachelorette: The guys are hot.

1 comment:

Andhari said...

Oh come on, reality tv is hot. Including the scripted ones like the hills and the city, so indulge as much as you want. I even watch A Shot of Love :P