"Craptastic" and biscotti (but not together)

I spontaneously (just now) decided to deliberately ignore the title of this post. 

Tonight I returned to the t-house from an exhausting day of actually doing work and teaching two fitness classes, and the rooms informed me that our new favorite show was on. 

"American Idol?" you ask. Lost? Grey's Anatomy? Sex and the City? The Gospel Truth with Andrew Wommack? (wait, what?) No. No. No. Nope. and only secretly. 

Our new favorite show is Little Miss Perfect on We TV. (it comes in our cable package- step off)

No trashy reality show currently on TV can compare to the overbearing and ridiculously inappropriate pageant mothers, the creepily made-up 4-11 year olds, and the flaming ex-disney princess Pageant director Michael Galanes. (Honestly, listening to him break into a song about rainbows and the beauty inside you... ridiculous.)

Ok, so this is probably not something that I would tell people in my daily every day life. I mean, posting it all over the Internet is one thing, but no one actually watches that show in real life. Besides, it clearly wouldn't help me in my quest to find a hot guy that will bask in my ultra-cool company and witty repartee.  

But uh, despite our extremely busy social lives, the rooms and I were hanging out at home late one saturday evening watching a Little Miss Perfect marathon. 

Golden- got the pjs, the ugly shirt I found while hiking, creepy valentines day booties/slippers (see picture and substitute weird hearts for cupcake)

- not to mention the brushed out end-of-the-day fro. 

Enter random brownie neighbor aka Harrison, Drunk as usual. He pops up whenever I'm wearing the exact same thing (aka looking homeless). 

He then proceeds to ridicule and mock us while simultaneously asking to borrow my phone so he can call the DD to locate his lost one. That guy loses his phone more than Britney loses her mind. 

Being the nice, obliging neighbor that I am, I lend him my phone and make awkward small talk all while pretending that Little Miss Perfect is not on the TV. And being the nice, drunk, and possibly creepy neighbor that he is, Harrison invites me and the rooms over for...wine? it's now about 1:30 am, and he's asking a girl in pj pants, booties, and a fro to go "drink some wine". 

The worst part? We didn't go because we really wanted to continue watching Little Miss Perfect. <-------reason #87 why I don't have a boyfriend.

Moral of the story? Pageant mom's are CRAY-zee. 

Skiing to Certain Death

Tonight I was talking with my sister and her boyfriend about my impending journey to Europe, and while we were talking about all of the impossibly amazing things I will be doing (too many to list) skiing came up. 

I'll be in Riva San Vitale (aka the Swiss Alps) and my professor has informed us that we'll be skiing a couple times, at least. 

This is awesome, I mean, who gets to go skiing in the Alps?!

The problem? 

Despite the fact that my parents both lived in Vermont, I don't know how to ski. Sure, I've been to the ski slopes... in JULY

 (we go to Wintergreen every 4th for the fireworks and celebration) Even more ironic is that my parents not only lived in Vermont, they met there- working at... oh, a ski lodge. 

It's not necessarily that I just don't know how to ski. I'm 95.6% sure I will break something--despite the inordinate amounts of milk that I drink.  

Not to mention the fact that I'd rather learn on a mountain just a tiny bit smaller than the Alps. 

To be completely honest, it's not the slopes that scare me (so I fall on my butt and/or face a couple times? That's inevitable).  It's the lifts. How the hell do you get off of those things? You Jump?! Are you kidding me? 

That is where I'm going to end up taking advantage of the mandatory Swiss Health Insurance that has to be purchased with my student visa (that's a whole different blog post). 

The idea of navigating two long sticks strapped to my feet, when I can barely navigate their normal length, is a bad one.  

The worst possible scenario? Ending up like this guy (Vail, Colorado)... And then dropping to my death.

Dying with your pants off is bad enough. Dying without your pants off after falling off of a ski lift? Classy. 

I've thought about snowboarding. My balance isn't that bad, and that's one less stick to worry about painfully tripping over. 

It was my sister who came up with the ingenious solution to this problem: I obviously just need to find a really hot guy that will teach me. 

Foolproof. 

I'm sure he'll think it's really hot when I faceplant off the ski lift...

On Couples

Relationships baffle me. Maybe that's why I don't have them.

I'm spending some quality time visiting Bleighton for a night or so, and of course, on her turf- that means spending time with her on-again off-again boyfriend. Now, this is not a bad thing. He's actually another of my close friends, so it's nice to be able to spend time with them. It's just their relationship in general that confuses me. I'm not even sure why- maybe it's because they have something that I don't (and maybe will never) understand.

They are in Love. That's why they are together again after the last time that he broke up with her. No, I don't understand the concept of 'getting back together' but then again, I've never been in Love. This isn't necessarily the part that I don't get. They are just so different- He is almost her polar opposite. They have different opinions on almost all of the subjects they talk about, they care about completely different things- he's into politics, opinions, drinking, and world views-- she's into working out, the earth, friends, cooking, and mochas. He's a momma's boy, and she's not. He's conservative, she's liberal. He wants to talk about it, she'd rather just get over it. There are things about this that work out perfectly: she loves to cook, he'll do the dishes after. She does all of her work, he makes her take a time out and have fun (and in turn, she inspires him to do his work). They do have a couple things in common- I'll give you that; they want to stay in the area and grow a family here, they're small-town, they love food, music, and movies. Most of all, they actually love each other.

I know that opposites attract, but when is when? what is just enough to work out and what isn't?

Using them as my only example may not be fair- putting anyone's relationship (or lack thereof) under a microscope is going to turn up problems and anomalies. But theirs' is a relationship that I've gotten to know from both perspectives. Of course, I am a little biased, mostly because she's my best friend and I'm bound to take up her banner.

I think that it boils down to understanding and what you do with it. You've really got to understand the person you are in a relationship with (or try to understand them). I think that if people (myself included) understand one another and accept any flaws or shortcomings they may have, they will be fine. The accepting part is the hardest. You can say to someone a million times "I don't want to change you. I accept you as you are." but then you turn around and try to push them towards something against their nature.
Again, I'm going to use B and her boyfriend as an example (sorry guys!).
Bleighton will never, ever be one of those people who wants to confront you about something. It's a part of her personality and won't change. Jon constantly want her to confront him- to tell him what she's thinking, when she knows it will make him upset. She loves him so much that she never wants to hurt him, she would do anything to protect him form being hurt. At the same time, he wants to know what bothers her, he always wants to know what she doesn't like. That if they force little confrontations, it will essentially avoid any huge ones. Maybe this works. But I think that he's pushing her to change who she is (unintentionally). He's not doing it to hurt her, or because he's a bad boyfriend. Just the opposite, he's doing it because he thinks it's the only way to keep their relationship healthy. Is it?


I don't know how to fix this. I am by no means an expert-- clearly my lack of successful relationships show this the best. But they understand one another. They know where their flaws lie and they recognize them. I just think that if they can move on to accepting them completely, and finding a way to work with both of their personalities. Then it will work.


I think they'll find a way. I hope so. In the mean time, I'm going to go break some more hearts or something. Fuck relationships.

The Bull-pen

I'm pretty sure "bull-pen" is a baseball term. Though I can't be 150% sure, because baseball isn't my sport. This is my sport:

God, he is hot. And absolutely a sport too... don't mess.

To be completely honest, the word "bull-pen" (phrase?) popped into my head randomly, along with the burning desire to use it as a theme in a blog post. So, with the help of Some handy widgets: 

(God, I love widgets)

Ways in which my life has been like being in a bullpen:

1. I have been in a holding area for months: recently, the contents of my computer were completely erased, the result of which is a slow rebuilding of all of my vital information and programs (half of which are still MIA) plus I lost ALL of my passwords and important info that my amazing mac normally just fills in for me- you know that 'remember me on this computer' box that you always check because, damn, every site requires some variation on your normal password? Yea, well all of those "remember me"s were erased. Completely. Long story short, you say? ...I forgot my blogger password, and google hated me for a week or two. BUT, I've re-learned it, and I'm posting again. Not that I would've posted had I known my password, but nonetheless. <----(that's a legit word.)

2. the prisoner one: Classes are CRAZY. Remind me again why I picked this major? Everyone is switching! It's insanity! At least two or three people decided to switch majors last week- and I'm estimating losses to our class of about 10 from now to the end of the semester. Our graduating class will now have approximately 70 people out of the 150 who started. Cray-Zee. That's all I really can say, because everyone is making plans- that's all we hear about; who's going where for study-abroad (Riva San Vitale, Switzerland- PUT IT UP!), internships for the summer, portfolios, and thesis. Plans. I'm a prisoner of my own plans and decisions. Even on spring break- all of the arrangements are supposed to be taking place. I need to be making phone calls, I need to be filling out Student Visa forms, I need to be doing all of this stuff. I'm on break, but I just want to break out!

3. the Open-plan office area: Every once in a while I realize that I could do anything with my life. Really, anything. I don't have to be an architect. I could graduate and open a dog-breeding kennel. I could open a Bed and Breakfast. I could get married and pop out some babies. I could be happy. I could be depressed. I could leave the country. I could switch majors. I could sell my virginity for millions of dollars. I could adopt several cats. I could move in with my parents. I could move to L.A. and waitress for the rest of my life waiting for my "big break". I could become an Internet celebrity on YouTube and support myself by selling T-shirts.  I could take the contents of my basement to Antiques roadshow. 

Point? I feel like I'm on a track- that I have to do things "the right way" but life is weird. I have the power to make it up. I really can do anything. Sure, there will be obstacles to anything that I attempt (i.e. getting citizenship in a remote Italian province,  Transporting everything to the closest antiques roadshow, or being interesting enough to get 23,847,034,587-45 hits on my YouTube video) but if I really wanted to- I could make it happen. We make excuses when we feel overwhelmed, or if we are afraid to do something. If you don't want to do something- you find an excuse. Take away the excuses and, whoa, wide open office-plan. Yea, baby- kiss those walls good-bye.

So musings aside- maybe I'll have something useful to write about tomorrow. Maybe I won't care enough. Maybe I will. Perhaps I'll share some more of what's going on in my life right now, and I won't get caught up in all of the feelings and crap associated. (not likely) Maybe there will actually be a lot to share.

Either way--look for me on YouTube...