The Bull-pen

I'm pretty sure "bull-pen" is a baseball term. Though I can't be 150% sure, because baseball isn't my sport. This is my sport:

God, he is hot. And absolutely a sport too... don't mess.

To be completely honest, the word "bull-pen" (phrase?) popped into my head randomly, along with the burning desire to use it as a theme in a blog post. So, with the help of Some handy widgets: 

(God, I love widgets)

Ways in which my life has been like being in a bullpen:

1. I have been in a holding area for months: recently, the contents of my computer were completely erased, the result of which is a slow rebuilding of all of my vital information and programs (half of which are still MIA) plus I lost ALL of my passwords and important info that my amazing mac normally just fills in for me- you know that 'remember me on this computer' box that you always check because, damn, every site requires some variation on your normal password? Yea, well all of those "remember me"s were erased. Completely. Long story short, you say? ...I forgot my blogger password, and google hated me for a week or two. BUT, I've re-learned it, and I'm posting again. Not that I would've posted had I known my password, but nonetheless. <----(that's a legit word.)

2. the prisoner one: Classes are CRAZY. Remind me again why I picked this major? Everyone is switching! It's insanity! At least two or three people decided to switch majors last week- and I'm estimating losses to our class of about 10 from now to the end of the semester. Our graduating class will now have approximately 70 people out of the 150 who started. Cray-Zee. That's all I really can say, because everyone is making plans- that's all we hear about; who's going where for study-abroad (Riva San Vitale, Switzerland- PUT IT UP!), internships for the summer, portfolios, and thesis. Plans. I'm a prisoner of my own plans and decisions. Even on spring break- all of the arrangements are supposed to be taking place. I need to be making phone calls, I need to be filling out Student Visa forms, I need to be doing all of this stuff. I'm on break, but I just want to break out!

3. the Open-plan office area: Every once in a while I realize that I could do anything with my life. Really, anything. I don't have to be an architect. I could graduate and open a dog-breeding kennel. I could open a Bed and Breakfast. I could get married and pop out some babies. I could be happy. I could be depressed. I could leave the country. I could switch majors. I could sell my virginity for millions of dollars. I could adopt several cats. I could move in with my parents. I could move to L.A. and waitress for the rest of my life waiting for my "big break". I could become an Internet celebrity on YouTube and support myself by selling T-shirts.  I could take the contents of my basement to Antiques roadshow. 

Point? I feel like I'm on a track- that I have to do things "the right way" but life is weird. I have the power to make it up. I really can do anything. Sure, there will be obstacles to anything that I attempt (i.e. getting citizenship in a remote Italian province,  Transporting everything to the closest antiques roadshow, or being interesting enough to get 23,847,034,587-45 hits on my YouTube video) but if I really wanted to- I could make it happen. We make excuses when we feel overwhelmed, or if we are afraid to do something. If you don't want to do something- you find an excuse. Take away the excuses and, whoa, wide open office-plan. Yea, baby- kiss those walls good-bye.

So musings aside- maybe I'll have something useful to write about tomorrow. Maybe I won't care enough. Maybe I will. Perhaps I'll share some more of what's going on in my life right now, and I won't get caught up in all of the feelings and crap associated. (not likely) Maybe there will actually be a lot to share.

Either way--look for me on YouTube...