Carpet Bodies: On Couples

Relationships baffle me. Maybe that's why I don't have them.

I'm spending some quality time visiting Bleighton for a night or so, and of course, on her turf- that means spending time with her on-again off-again boyfriend. Now, this is not a bad thing. He's actually another of my close friends, so it's nice to be able to spend time with them. It's just their relationship in general that confuses me. I'm not even sure why- maybe it's because they have something that I don't (and maybe will never) understand.

They are in Love. That's why they are together again after the last time that he broke up with her. No, I don't understand the concept of 'getting back together' but then again, I've never been in Love. This isn't necessarily the part that I don't get. They are just so different- He is almost her polar opposite. They have different opinions on almost all of the subjects they talk about, they care about completely different things- he's into politics, opinions, drinking, and world views-- she's into working out, the earth, friends, cooking, and mochas. He's a momma's boy, and she's not. He's conservative, she's liberal. He wants to talk about it, she'd rather just get over it. There are things about this that work out perfectly: she loves to cook, he'll do the dishes after. She does all of her work, he makes her take a time out and have fun (and in turn, she inspires him to do his work). They do have a couple things in common- I'll give you that; they want to stay in the area and grow a family here, they're small-town, they love food, music, and movies. Most of all, they actually love each other.

I know that opposites attract, but when is when? what is just enough to work out and what isn't?

Using them as my only example may not be fair- putting anyone's relationship (or lack thereof) under a microscope is going to turn up problems and anomalies. But theirs' is a relationship that I've gotten to know from both perspectives. Of course, I am a little biased, mostly because she's my best friend and I'm bound to take up her banner.

I think that it boils down to understanding and what you do with it. You've really got to understand the person you are in a relationship with (or try to understand them). I think that if people (myself included) understand one another and accept any flaws or shortcomings they may have, they will be fine. The accepting part is the hardest. You can say to someone a million times "I don't want to change you. I accept you as you are." but then you turn around and try to push them towards something against their nature.
Again, I'm going to use B and her boyfriend as an example (sorry guys!).
Bleighton will never, ever be one of those people who wants to confront you about something. It's a part of her personality and won't change. Jon constantly want her to confront him- to tell him what she's thinking, when she knows it will make him upset. She loves him so much that she never wants to hurt him, she would do anything to protect him form being hurt. At the same time, he wants to know what bothers her, he always wants to know what she doesn't like. That if they force little confrontations, it will essentially avoid any huge ones. Maybe this works. But I think that he's pushing her to change who she is (unintentionally). He's not doing it to hurt her, or because he's a bad boyfriend. Just the opposite, he's doing it because he thinks it's the only way to keep their relationship healthy. Is it?

I don't know how to fix this. I am by no means an expert-- clearly my lack of successful relationships show this the best. But they understand one another. They know where their flaws lie and they recognize them. I just think that if they can move on to accepting them completely, and finding a way to work with both of their personalities. Then it will work.